Loving a Man Who Forgot Me Novel Chapter 76
My lips parted but my words were lodged in my throat.
I just stared at Jason and the ring and then back at Jason and back at the ring.
“Abbi,” he said softly, rising to his feet. With the hand that wasn’t holding the ring, he grabbed mine.
“It’s okay. I understand if this is too much right now. You don’t have to give me an answer right now.”
I shook my head to clear it. “No,” I croaked. “No?” He dropped my hand. “You don’t want to marry me?”
“No, I mean, I don’t need to wait. My answer is yes.” I didn’t need to think about it.
In fact, the last thing I wanted was to think about it. It wasn’t a complicated question. It was an easy one.
With Jason I’d have the life I always wanted. He was so good to me, and I could see our life together. It would be good, and it would be full.
“Yes?” he said, like he almost couldn’t believe it. I nodded and felt my eyes begin to water. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”
He slid the ring onto my finger, fumbling and nearly dropping it as he did so. We both laughed, but then the ring was in place.
It fit a little loose, but not so much that it would fall off before I could get it sized. I stared at the classic solitaire gem on the shiny silver band. It was really pretty.
I lifted my eyes to Jason’s excited gaze and then I kissed him. I kissed him for a long time, so long that he was left to pack the rest of his things in a frenzy in order for us to get to the airport on time.
Getting out of the car at the airport, I glanced at the ring on my finger and slid it off. I looked at Jason who was watching me. “I just don’t want this time to be about us. I’ll tell them once we’re back home.” Jason nodded. “Of course.”
I tucked the ring into the zippered pocket of my wool jacket and then joined my hand in Jason’s, each of us hauling a rolling bag behind us. The flight to Portland was a quiet, somber one. Not one of us was looking forward to arriving.
My stomach plummeted every time I thought about seeing Jaime and having to come up with something to say that didn’t sound truly pathetic. There were no words for this situation.
Only tears and hugs. And of course, the minute I laid eyes on him, reading the complete and utter brokenness on his face, my tears came fast and hard. I tried to stem them long enough to wrap my arms around him, but it was no use.
We spent most of our time at Molly’s parents’, helping out in whatever way we could to get ready for the service and reception tomorrow. I helped Aunt Jax, Addie, and my mom with preparing food.
Aunt Sadie and Mia, with the help of their husbands, got it all to the church where the reception would be held. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, by the time we all returned to our hotel rooms.
I collapsed onto the bed and was nearly asleep before Jason managed to turn out the lights. Morning came too soon, but it would have been too soon no matter what. A day, a week, didn’t matter. Funerals sucked.
Our hotel room was quiet as we both readied for the service. I attempted to do my makeup, but gave up when my eyes wouldn’t quit watering enough to do more than swipe on mascara. I guess I’d just have to own the red-rimmed, blotchy look.
When it was time to go, I pulled my black wool coat on over my long-sleeved dress and stuffed a bunch of the hotel tissues into the pocket. Stepping into my black oxfords, I waited for Jason to finish righting his tie and grab his jacket.
We met the others in the lobby and grouped off to fill the rental cars. It was grey and dismal when we stepped outside.
I eyed the clouds in the sky and silently sent up a prayer that the rain would hold off until after the service. Jason and I rode with my parents and brother to the cemetery. I sat sandwiched between them in the back of the car.
I held Jason’s hand tightly and rested my head on Colton’s shoulder. He laid his head against mine and we stayed that way the entire car ride, which only lasted a few minutes. Newport wasn’t a large town.
All too quickly we were piling out of the car and joining everyone else at the gravesite. I remained between Jason and Colton through it all.
It was the most heart-wrenching funeral I’d ever sat through, and when the pastor spoke of baby Amelia, the dam that had been holding back the worst of my cries broke.
There were large, blown-up pictures of Molly and Amelia individually and with Jaime as a family, on easels amongst all the flowers and wreaths. All I could do was stare at Amelia’s big eyes and cry my own out.
My body shook so bad that Colton grabbed me and pulled me into his arms and held me tight. If he hadn’t, I would have crumbled to the ground. My brother held me through the rest of the service, and it was a good thing too.
Molly’s parents got up to speak and broke down part way through. I lost it even more. The entire gravesite was filled with the sounds of grief.
Jaime had long since sunk to his knees in the damp grass, his head hung low as his body shook. His mom and sister knelt beside him, their bodies half laid over the top of his as they held him and tried to comfort him through their own pain and cries.
Unable to bear everyone else’s grief on top of my own, I buried my head in Colton’s jacket and waited until it was over.
When at last it was, I pried myself loose of Colton’s arms and pulled tissues from my pocket to wipe at my eyes and nose.
The crowd began to disperse, and I saw Addie tucked into Abel’s arms, her body wracked with sobs as he held her much the same way Colton had held me through the worst of mine. I looked up at Jason’s face through bleary eyes. “I’ll meet you guys back at the car.”
I walked on shaky legs over to them. Abel met my eyes as I approached. There was so much pain in his. I wouldn’t have thought my own could get any worse, but something about seeing him look so desolate increased mine exponentially.
I swallowed and blinked rapidly. I laid my hand on Addie’s back. She picked her head up and looked at me. I held my arms out to her and she moved to mine.
“It’s not fair,” she cried hoarsely into my neck. “Molly and Amelia didn’t deserve this. Jaime didn’t deserve this.” “No, they didn’t,” I said roughly, fighting against the urge to fall apart again.
Abel laid his hand on Addie’s back and gently said, “I’m going to help load up some of the flowers and stuff to take to the reception hall.”
I nodded. I had Addie and she had me. Abel walked away, and Addie and I stayed right where we were, as slowly the cemetery emptied. Addie shook in my arms and I knew it was more than grief.
Her arms were icy in her sleeveless dress, and goosebumps covered her skin. I shrugged out of my jacket and urged her to put it on. “It’s okay,” she sniffed. “You need it.”