Loving a Man Who Forgot Me Novel Chapter 34
“Maybe I could have ignored it, pretended it wasn’t real, let her have the abortion, but that,” he pointed at the picture in my hand, “made it too real.
I couldn’t let her do it. So, yeah, I proposed, and I married her, but it doesn’t matter, because as soon as she has that baby, I’m gone.
I’ll take my kid and be done with her.” Just like that?” I echoed softly, lifting my eyes from the grainy picture.
“You think it’s that simple?” “No, nothing with Kat is simple, but I won’t stay with her just for the baby.
All our lives would be hell if I did that. She got the insurance she needs, I married her. If she wants to suck me dry, whatever.
I’ll give her whatever she wants.” “This is crazy,” I muttered, looking at the floor as I tried to wrap my head around what he was telling me.
I looked back up at him. “Does your mom know what you’re doing?” He bobbed his head, a grimace distorting his face.
“I told her this morning. She and my dad are the only ones who know. And you now.” “And Addie?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I haven’t told her yet. She already hates Kat. I didn’t want any more drama, but I’ll tell her this weekend.
The ’ll be here tomorrow.” “And what do you think Kat is going to do when you try to divorce her? Do you think she’ll fight you for custody?”
“Probably, just to be a bitch. I hope for our baby’s sake that she actually wants to be a mom, but she’s not exactly the maternal type.”
“Lots of women aren’t until they have babies.” And she was going to have his baby. She was going to be the mother of his child. He may not love her now, but this would bond them. This would tie them together in a forever way.
He shrugged, “Honestly, it doesn’t really matter to me. Our baby deserves a mother, but that’s up to Kat not me, and if she can’t or won’t, well I’ve got my mom and Addie. The baby will be fine, and I’ll be free.” His words carried a weight and implication I didn’t like.
His expectant gaze bored into mine. I laughed dryly, “You expect me to sit around waiting for you?” He sat up straighter.
“No but” “Look, I listened like I said I would, and I’m glad I did. I get it. I understand, and I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but you got yourself into it, and it changes nothing, Abel.” “You’re right.” He scooted on the couch toward me. “It doesn’t change anything.
I meant every word I said two months ago. I know I’ve fucked up a lot, and I will always regret leaving” “Which time? You’re going to have to be more specific Abel, because there are so many times to choose from.
I’ve had eight years of you showing back up and leaving again.” “And every time it was a mistake.” “I think it’s time for you to go, and don’t tell me you don’t know how. Walking away should be easy for you at this point.”
The muscles in his jaw flexed, but he didn’t say a word, nor did he make a move to leave. He looked around briefly, eyeing my things, and then back at me. “Just tell me one thing, were you going to leave him? If I’d come back like I promised, would you have ended it with Jason?”
I gritted my teeth. “Doesn’t matter because you didn’t. I’m with him, Abel. He’s good to me and I’m happy. The best thing you and I can do is let go of our past and move on. It was what it was, but it never should have happened.”
And now I had to live with what we did that night. “We should have put a stop to this a long time ago. We’ve hurt each other enough.” “I never meant to,” he said softly. I leaned forward. “I know, but we can’t help it. That’s all we do. And we’ve made a big enough mess, don’t you think?”
“Then let me fix it. There’s a reason we keep coming back to each other, that we can’t stay away. We’re meant to be together.”
I sat back. “I used to want to believe that. I wanted to believe it so badly, but it was just an excuse to justify what we were doing. Can’t you see that? We’re not good for each other anymore. We haven’t been for a very long time.”
This thing between us hadn’t been right since the first time he went to New York and broke what we had. It never went back together right. “It’s time.” “Time? Twenty-six years, Abbi. You’re telling me you can just throw away our entire lives together?”
“I don’t want to throw it away, but it’s in the past. We were kids then. Innocent and naive to believe we’d be together forever.
The real world isn’t like that. It’s messy and hard and complicated and maybe that’s why we kept coming back to each other. Maybe we were trying to find our way back to the way it was, but we can’t go back.”