Loving a Man Who Forgot Me Novel Chapter 29
“I just mean that we’ve barely begun to live, and the whole world is open to us, and we get to discover what we want out of life and who we really are.”
She jerked her head in a rough nod, but still wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I get it.”
“Abbi,” I tipped her chin toward me, “I don’t mean forever. I could never accept that I’m not meant to be with you.
I know that, without a doubt, but this could be good for us. But no matter what, no matter where I go, I’m always going to be yours.
There won’t ever be anyone else for me. That’s not what this is about, so please don’t think it is.”
She squeezed her eyes shut tight, but the tears still managed to escape. “We can explore the world and still find our way back to each other.
I don’t believe this is the end, Abbs. It can’t be. We won’t let it be.” Her eyes blinked open, filled with the same anguish I felt.
“Are you always going to be mine?” She looked away again, but nodded subtly.
“It’s going to be okay, you’ll see. We’ll be stronger, and better.” I was trying to convince myself as much as I was her.
Inside I felt like I was dying. My head said this was the right thing to do. We were too young. A long-distance relationship at this point would be so hard on both of us.
It wouldn’t be fair. My heart . . . my heart was ready to jump out of my chest and stay with her, leaving me to be a walking corpse.
Our eyes locked, there was something so desperate in hers. I felt it too, like everything was slipping away from us, and I needed to cling to her for just a little while longer. I caught her chin and tentatively led her mouth to mine.
She came willingly and then our lips met in an achingly sweet kiss. One full of longing and need. I could taste her tears and it only made me kiss her harder. I laid back and dragged her down to the mattress with me.
I tucked her into my body and continued to kiss her like stopping wasn’t an option. My hands roamed her hips and waist, feeling all the soft, familiar curves. I’d only ever been with Abbi that way. I only ever wanted to be with Abbi.
Her hands fisted in my shirt and slowly our kiss became something else. Something deeper, and needier. It felt like forever and goodbye all at once. When it was over, and she lay tucked in my arms, her silent tears running onto my chest, that’s when my own finally escaped.
I kissed the top of her head and held her tighter until she finally pried herself from my arms and went about dressing. I sat up, wishing for words to come that wouldn’t, words that would fix this unbearable pain constricting my chest and clogging my throat.
Words that would make her stay. Words that would undo the irreparable damage I’d caused, but there were no words. I just sat there and watched her tug her clothes on, my cheeks wet. She moved toward the door and I croaked, “Abbi.” It was the only thing I could get out.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. She glanced over her shoulder, pain and heartbreak etched into every line of her face. “I don’t think we should talk for a while. I think we need to stay away from each other.”
“But I leave for New York right after graduation. That’s only a few weeks.” We only had a few weeks, and then I wouldn’t be able to see her every day.
“I can’t,” she shook her head and wiped at the tears still making tracks down her face. “I can’t see you right now. It hurts too much, and we can’t do this again.”
What few pieces of my heart that were still intact, splintered and broke apart right then. Without another word she turned and left, taking my heart and soul with her. I never got them back.