Loving a Man Who Forgot Me Novel Chapter 84
She blinked rapidly, tears pooling. “I was, but he didn’t get me pregnant.”
I clenched my jaw and mentally reminded myself that I’d already come to terms with the fact that they’d been screwing.
This was nothing more than confirmation. “How can you be sure?” I growled. It wasn’t jealousy that pissed me off.
I couldn’t care less about the two of them screwing, except that she’d played me, trying to make me out to be the selfish, uncaring, commitment-phobic asshole, all while she’d been screwing my bandmate.
She let out a hollow sort of laugh. “I’m sure.” “Did you have an abortion?” She shook her head. “No. I didn’t . . . because there was no baby.”
Whatever I’d thought she was going to say, that wasn’t it. I stood frozen while those two words replayed over and over. No baby. No baby? She was never pregnant? “What the fuck?” I finally sputtered. “I saw the ultrasound.”
She jerked her head side to side, tears spilling down her cheeks now. “It wasn’t mine. I faked it.” Un-fucking-believable. My mind reeled, and my heartrate climbed through the roof. I couldn’t get enough air.
I needed to sit. I staggered into the kitchen and dropped onto one of the barstools, yanking a hand roughly through my hair. How could she . . . why . . . I raised my head and met her watery gaze. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I rasped.
She shook her head, biting her lip and then whispered. “I don’t know.” “You don’t know?” I stood, suddenly all of my anger rising up like a tidal wave. “You faked a fucking pregnancy, forced me to marry you, and then pretended to lose the baby, and you can’t even give me a damn explanation?”
“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, hugging her arms tight around herself. “I didn’t mean for it to go like this. I just . . .” “You just what?” I sneered, taking two angry strides toward her.
She threw her hands up. “I don’t know, okay! I thought I could make you love me! You never let me in. You never really gave us a chance because you weren’t willing to feel anything for me. I kept thinking that would change, but it didn’t.
The whole time I was just a fling to you. I’m twenty-five years old. Do you know what the shelf life of a model is? I can’t do this forever. I’m coming up on the end of my career, and then what? I don’t have anything else, Abel.
So I thought if you believed I was pregnant it would make you more open to giving us a real chance, or at the very least I could secure a future for myself.” “By forcing me to marry you and then divorcing me and taking my money?”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” “It’s not worth shit, Katya. You need to go now.” She lifted her chin and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I’m not proud of what I did, Abel. I know how wrong it was, but this life, it does something to a person. It changes you.
” She grew quiet for a moment. “I didn’t used to be this way.” “You made your choices, and now we both have to live with them.” “I know,” she blew out a shaky breath and started toward the door. “I’ll have the marriage annulled.
I won’t fight you on anything, just do me a favor,” she paused, “look out for your sister. This world can ruin someone like her more than anyone. She’s on her way to the top right now, but that just means she has further to fall.” “My sister is going to be just fine,” I ground out.
“I hope so,” she said softly and then let herself out. When the door closed behind her, a fresh wave of anger and disbelief washed over me.
I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. I had nothing left. Everything had been carved out of me, and I could feel the black pit growing bigger and bigger. It was going to swallow me. Should it have lessened my grief knowing there was never a baby?
It didn’t. I still felt the loss. Even if it wasn’t real, I felt it. I tried my hardest to understand her reasons, to find even a speck of sympathy that might make it easier for me, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t find a single part of me that felt anything but sick.
I’d thought after talking to Katya I’d be able to move on, but . . . I’d cried for a baby that never existed. I’d painted a nursery for a baby that was never going to live in it. I’d told my parents they were going to be grandparents. I gave up Abbi. All of it was a lie.
I lost Abbi because of a lie. I could have lived with her marrying someone else because I made the choice to do what I had to for my baby, to make sure it made it into this world . . . but now? How was I supposed to live with this now?
Everything would be different if Katya hadn’t lied. Everything. I couldn’t breathe. My head was spinning. I fumbled my phone out of my pocket and dialed. “Hello.” “Can you come over right now?” My voice broke. There was a second of silence and then, “I’ll be right there.”
Twenty minutes later, my sister burst through the door. I was still sitting on the floor, but I wasn’t having a near panic attack anymore. I wasn’t anything. I’d settled into a sort of numb state, just blocking it all out. “What’s going on? You sounded weird on the phone.
Why are you on the floor?” “Katya stopped by,” my voice was as hollow as my chest. Addie’s expression pinched, and her jaw clenched as she spit out, “What did she want this time?” “To tell me she was never pregnant. It was all a lie.” “What?” she shrieked.