Loving a Man Who Forgot Me Novel Chapter 39
We found a spot on an empty bench nearby and sat.
“I was hoping we’d get the chance to chat for a minute,” Aunt Jax said, crossing her ankles and angling her body toward me.
“Oh?” I shifted in my seat.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”
“Me?”
She smiled softly, but concern pinched her brow. “Abel didn’t come home until after one this morning, and he was . . . not well when he did.”
“Oh,” it seemed I’d lost my ability to form responses more than one syllable.
She sighed, “He’s hurting right now. I’m not sure where his head is at with everything, and I’m not sure where he’s headed. I know your relationship is . . . complicated, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Oh no, it’s not . . . I mean we’re just friends.” Her smile became a sad one. “It’s okay, Abbi. I know.” I swallowed. “You do?”
She nodded. “For whatever reason you and Abel have chosen to keep your . . . friendship private.” She hesitated on the word friendship.
I winced slightly, embarrassed. “How do you . . .” “One only had to watch the two of you closely together to see it.”
I averted my gaze. “And I know my son. Whenever he’s home, he gets this look on his face . . . I don’t know, I guess you’d describe it as eager, or anxious. He disappears for a little while and when he comes back, he’s quiet.
Either shuts himself in his room or his dad’s studio and writes for hours, or he just takes off and leaves without a word.”
“It’s not . . .” I said roughly. “We’re not, I mean we did see each other occasionally when he was in town,” I admitted shamefully. “But it’s over now. It has been for a while, and it was never . . . it was just two people who used to share something trying to cope with the new directions our lives took.
The pressure, the self-doubt, it would get to him sometimes, and I think it helped him to just escape to something familiar.” The excuse fell flat even to my ears.
“Oh Abbi,” she took my hand, “please don’t think I’m judging either of you. You don’t owe me any explanations. This wasn’t my intention. I know what you mean to my son. I don’t know if you’ve listened to his music, sweetheart, but . . . well, it’s not my place to interfere.”
I dragged my eyes to hers. Yeah, I listened to his music. I listened in secret agony. “I’m not the least bit surprised that he would turn to you when he needed someone, but I’m worried he’s doing that now, and that it could make things . . . complicated for you.
I know you have a wonderful relationship with Jason, and I just . . . I don’t know,” she laughed dryly, “maybe I’m completely out of line here.”
I ducked my eyes to my lap. “You’re not. He came to see me last night.” “I suspected as much. You don’t have to tell me anything, I know it must be awkward since I’m his mother, but you know you’ve always been like a daughter to me as well, and I’m here if you’d like to talk.”
I looked up into her soft smile. “I— I’ve always considered you my second mom. I thought you would be. I wanted you to be.”
“I know. I thought someday I would be too, and I wanted that very much.” “I do love Jason. He’s wonderful, and good to me. I can’t imagine what you must think.” “I think that the heart is a tricky thing.” That was an understatement.
I laughed faintly. “Yeah. Tricky.” Neither one of us said anything for a moment until I breathed out heavily. “When he was home in June, he came to see me too. We hadn’t talked in a while, but he told me he was leaving the band.
Said it was falling apart, that he wasn’t enjoying the music anymore. He told me he wanted out, and he said that . . . well it doesn’t really matter what he said,” or what we did, “because then he didn’t come back and instead got married.”
“Oh, Abbi.” Understanding and sympathy were thick in her voice. “I know about the baby and everything. That’s why he came over last night. To explain. We didn’t . . . we’re not . . . not anymore. I just want to move on and leave the past in the past. Jason is my future.” Wasn’t he? “I understand,” she said, but I wondered if she even could. I didn’t think anyone could. Not really.