Loving a Man Who Forgot Me Novel Chapter 33
“Fuck,” his eyes blinked open, and he ripped his hand from his hair.
“I didn’t mean for it. I met her last year after you ended it. She was nothing more than a fling I tried to lose myself in.
I used her to drown out missing you, but it didn’t work Abbi. That’s why I came back. That’s why I couldn’t let us be over.
I meant every word I said to you two months ago. It was always supposed to be you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.
But it stopped being about what I want the moment Kat put that ultrasound picture in my hand.”
I jerked my gaze away. I didn’t want to hear this. He grabbed my chin and turned my face back to his.
“I don’t love her. I never did. I don’t even know how this happened. I thought I was careful.” A wretched sort of sob snort came out.
My stomach felt sick. I curled my arms around my body.
He dropped his hand. “I know this is my fault. Kat never should have happened, but I can’t change that it did.”
“So you married her because she’s pregnant?” “There’s more to it. Can we please go inside? It’s cold and you’re shivering.
” He set his hands on my shoulders. My body was indeed trembling, but I don’t think it was entirely because of the chill in the air. “Unless you’re not alone in there and that’s why you don’t want me to come in.”
I hugged my arms tighter around myself and looked over my shoulder inside. I should tell him no. I should tell him to leave. Nothing good was going to come from this, but it was Abel. He was my weak spot and I needed to understand as much as I didn’t want to.
I brought my gaze back to him. “Jason’s not here. The team has early morning Saturday practices.” I paused and then spoke again before I could change my mind. “I’ll listen, but that’s all.” I ducked inside and clicked on the interior light.
Abel stepped in and closed the door behind him, and then we both stood there, staring at each other. “We’re inside,” I said. “Can we sit?” He nodded toward the living room. Reluctantly, I padded into the living room and took a seat in my armchair.
Abel lowered himself onto the couch, angling his body toward me. An awkward silence descended on the room and I didn’t know which one of us was supposed to break it. My knees bounced, and I pulled the hem of the baggy shirt lower over my sleep shorts.
A few seconds or minutes passed and then Abel finally let loose a heavy sigh. “You have to understand, I didn’t have a choice.”
“Because she’s pregnant with your baby? I get it. You’re trying to do the right thing. The honorable thing. But this isn’t the eighteen-hundreds. Marrying someone for the wrong reasons isn’t the right thing. It’s not good for anyone, especially not a baby, Abel.
I’m not saying that because I’m jealous and hurt and pissed.” Although I couldn’t keep the bitterness from my tone. “I know that. I wouldn’t have married her if she’d given me a choice, Abbi. I frowned. “What do you mean? “She gave me a choice, but it wasn’t really one.
I couldn’t let her get rid of the baby.” “What?” The word came out a gasp. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together between them. “She wanted a commitment from me or she was going to have an abortion.”
“Who does that?” I asked weakly. He hung his head and dragged his hands through his thick, untamed hair, before lifting his chin and meeting my gaze again. “A selfish, vain model afraid of a baby ruining her career and leaving her a single mom.”
“You would never abandon your kid. How could she think you wouldn’t help take care of her and your baby?” He shrugged. “I tried to tell her that, reassure her I would support her, but she said she wouldn’t go through with it unless she had a guarantee.
The made it clear what she wanted from me.” “So you proposed,” I muttered emotionlessly. “Not on the spot. I was in shock.” He lifted his butt up and reached into his back pocket. His hand came away with his wallet and he withdrew a small slip of something.
I knew what it was before he held it out to me. I stared at it like it was a snake that might bite me before slowly reaching out and taking it. I eyed the tiny, grainy, ultrasound picture with Katya Petravisky’s name across the top. What pieces of my heart hadn’t already broken shattered right then.